虽然有好多的review, 但是感觉不适合我. 我overcommit自己的事情而非他人的事情
review里很少提到如何说no, 大多数的内容在说为什么要boundary, 而不是如何设置boundary,如何说no
|Title: Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No|
Authors: Henry Cloud, John Townsend
Finished Date: 2017-05-12
Publication Date: 2017-10-03
This is a great book for folks who find themselves committed to things they don’t really want to do or resenting people who treat them a certain way or people with relationship problems where they feel all possible solutions are bad.
The authors give solid Biblical backing for why boundaries are important, how they are formed, and how to set them in your own life.
- I especially appreciated that they tackled several key myths about boundaries (i.e. “Won’t I hurt others if I set boundaries?” “Aren’t Christians supposed to be generous and self-sacrificing?” “Isn’t it selfish to think about yourself?”)
- half the book was about understanding the different ways you are not setting boundaries
- there are chapters for each type of relation that you may be having issues setting boundaries: with parents, children, spouses, at work, with yourself, and with God. But they were all the same: started off with a story about Nancy and Nick, or Billy and Susan, Janice, Shareen, etc. Then a listing of how boundaries could be a problem in this relationship (didn’t we just spend the first 50% of the book going over this?) and finally some ways to address these boundary issues like “you need to know your worth,” or “find a support group.” In fact, the one thing I did get out of this book is that for me to set boundaries, I need a support group, I can’t do it myself.
the book could be summed up in a few sentences:
if you want to have a demanding career, don’t choose to have children.
if you want to be happy in marriage, choose a spouse who is supportive.
if you don’t want to be volunteered for your church’s building program by fund raising with a cookie drive, don’t be ‘that person’ who always says ‘yes’.
grow a spine.
grow some peaches.
grow some walnuts.
the problem i have with this book is that it is the complete opposite of QBQ … it teaches people how to avoid personal responsibility instead of accepting it.