Emotial Inteligence

我没法接受EQ


Title: Emotial Inteligence
Authors: Danial Coleman
Edition: 2
Finished Date:
Rating: 5
Language: English
Genres: Programming, R, Software, RStudio
Level: Entry
Publishers: Bantam
Publication Date: 2006-09-26
ISBN: 978-0553804911
Format: Pdf
Pages: 384
Download: Pdf

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.

ability model

The model claims that EI includes four types of abilities:

  1. Perceiving emotions – the ability to detect and decipher emotions in faces, pictures, voices, and cultural artifacts—including the ability to identify one’s own emotions. Perceiving emotions represents a basic aspect of emotional intelligence, as it makes all other processing of emotional information possible.
  2. Using emotions – the ability to harness emotions to facilitate various cognitive activities, such as thinking and problem solving. The emotionally intelligent person can capitalize fully upon his or her changing moods in order to best fit the task at hand.
  3. Understanding emotions – the ability to comprehend emotion language and to appreciate complicated relationships among emotions. For example, understanding emotions encompasses the ability to be sensitive to slight variations between emotions, and the ability to recognize and describe how emotions evolve over time.
  4. Managing emotions – the ability to regulate emotions in both ourselves and in others. Therefore, the emotionally intelligent person can harness emotions, even negative ones, and manage them to achieve intended goals.

Mixed model

  1. Self-awareness – the ability to know one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, values and goals and recognize their impact on others while using gut feelings to guide decisions. 连strength和weakness都知道….比hr还牛
  2. Self-regulation – involves controlling or redirecting one’s disruptive emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.
  3. Social skill – managing relationships to move people in the desired direction 连让别人按照自己的想法移动…好讨厌这样的人.我发现我有逆反情绪,以前觉得被别人persuade,也就算了,看了这定义,觉得我还是不想接受别人说服我做不想做的事情,或者花不想花的时间
  4. Empathy - considering other people’s feelings especially when making decision
  5. Motivation - being driven to achieve for the sake of achievement.

Goleman’s model of EI has been criticized in the research literature as mere “pop psychology” (Mayer, Roberts, & Barsade, 2008).

John Mayer, Peter Slovey in 1990: the first formulation of the concept “emotional intelligence”

  • course: “social and emtional learning” (SEL)

    • recognize and acccurately label their emotions
    • how they lead them to act
    • identify the nonverbal clues to how someone else feels
    • analyze what creates stress for them or what motivates their best performance
    • listen and talk in ways that resolve conflicts instead of escalating them, and negotiate for win-win solutions

??goal??

  • help children improve their self-awarenes and confidence
  • manage their disturbing emotions and impulses
  • increase emphathy

impact on business

  • leadership
  • employee development

3种EQ

  • John Mayer, Peter Slovey
  • Reuven Bar-on: based on well-being
  • Danial Coleman: performance at work and organizational leadership

fallcy

  • wrong: EQ accounts for 80% of success

    • IQ accounts for about 20% of career success. does not mean the rest 80% is because of EQ

    • wealth

    • education of the family
    • temperament
    • luck
  • wrong: EQ maters more than IQ in all pursuits

    EQ covers the area IQ does not cover. but EQ + IQ is not complete set

    • emotional self-regulation
    • empathy

      areas

    • romantic love

    • personal relationships

reach IQ threashold, then compare EQ 挺无语的.IQ本来不测量与人交往的能力,EQ才测量这些.所谓的leadershpip本来就是体现与人交往的能力.硬要强调在leadership上,EQ比IQ是更好的测量标准….真的是不公平的比较

fundamental

  • self-awareness
  • self-management
  • social awareness
  • the ability to manage relationships

more mention in the book

  • persistence 每个人都很persisitence,只是领域不同罢了.坚持做坏习惯,也是种坚持
  • self-control
    • control impulse
  • the ability to motivate oneself
  • empathy

    • altruism
    • read emtions in others
    • a sense of another’s need or despair
每个方面要锻炼到habit,有点难.而且最后一点也要看处在事件中人的性格

若说情商,我还没有见过多少人能handle我这种性格的人,而且能handle的好的.其实大家的情商也就这样了

能够sense别人的情绪,不一定能很好的handle

我想练self-awareness和self-management

有些性格的人的EQ天生就很高.我的性格就不会.所以不需要,也不能把我在EQ上的标准或者目标定高.只要能达到普通人水平就好

children deskill

  • technology
  • parents work out for longer time