Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts--Becoming the Person You Want to Be

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Did you do your best to XXXX?

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Title: Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts–Becoming the Person You Want to Be
Authors: Marshall Goldsmith, Mark Reiter
Edition: 1
Finished Date: 2018-02-26
Rating: 1
Language: English
Genres: Self-Help
Level: Entry
Publishers: Crown Business
Publication Date: 2015-05-19
ISBN: 978-0804141239
Format: Pdf, ePub
Pages: 272
Download: ePub


讲得不是很全. 里面用的一些方法是我初中时候用的,就是不停地用名人名言来衡量自己的行为.虽然提出了多种trigger,但是如何识别trigger,如何改善trigger是没有研究的.

文中只给出了成功的例子,没有讲若fall off wagon了, 怎么才能重新开始.

15个可能不能坚持的理由, 在后面章节没有提到解决方法.

the reason to focus on progress

  1. If we do it (progress focused), we get better (result)
  2. We get better faster.
  3. Eventually we become our own Coach我解释为:身随心动

Truth #1: Meaning behavioral change is very hard to do

  • hard to initiate behavioral change
  • even harder to stay the course
  • hardest to make the change stick

Given the choice, we prefer to do nothing

know how to execute a change, require

  • knowledge, e.g., nutrition
  • ability difficulty level beyond my current ability => create stress
  • motivation depression

Truth #2: No one make us change unless we truly want to change

the reason to fail

  1. If I understand, I will do => confusion

    知乎帖子: 为什么道理都懂, 执行力为什么差 myself: Read more books and I will know how to do things less painfully

  2. I have willpower and won’t give in to temptation. => overconfidence

  3. Today is a special day not to do things. => inconsistency
  4. At least I’m better than… => immunity

  5. I shouldn’t need help and structure => exceptionalism

    We believe that we do not need structure to help us on seemingly simple tasks.

    1. Contempt for simplicity. Only complexity is worthy of our attention
    2. Contempt for instruction and follow-up
    3. faith. We can succeed all by ourselves.

  6. I won’t get tired and my enthusiasm will not fade. => depletion

    happen in the planning phase

    Self-control is a limited resource when we are tired.

  7. I have all the time in the world. => procrastination

    two opposing beliefs that we simultaneously hold in our minds

    1. we chronically underestimate the time it takes to get anything done
    2. we believe that time is open-ended and sufficiently spacious for us to get to all our self-improvement goals eventually.

  8. I won’t get distracted and nothing unexpected will occur.

    not plan for distractions.

  9. An epiphany will suddenly change my life => magical thinking

    An epiphany implies that change can arise out of a sudden burst of insight and willpower.

    Films, novels, others’ stories always said they changed behaviors suddenly…. I think our whole world conveys this wrong idea.

  10. My change will be permanent and I will never have to worry again. => a false sense of permanence

    The self-control I practiced until unconsciousness n the middle lost.

    the whole world

    • TV commercial

    Even when we get there, we cannot stay there without commitment and discipline.

  11. My elimination of old problems will not bring on new problems. => misunderstanding of future challenges

  12. My efforts will be fairly rewarded. If not properly reward we feel cheated => resentment

    cannot change if

    1. pursue external reward e.g., money, a promotion
    2. no certainties that we will get the external reward we want

  13. No one is paying attention to bad behavior occasionally. => isolation

  14. If I change I am “inauthentic.” => stubbornness

  15. I have the wisdom to assess my own behavior. => impaired sense of objectivity

    It is also hard to find a reliable and affordable coach.

feedback loop

  1. evidence
  2. relevance
  3. consequence
  4. action

A behavioral trigger is any stimulus that impacts our behavior. One trigger has different effect for different people.

source

  1. direct/indirect trigger

  2. internal/external trigger

    • internal: thoughts/feeling
    • external: environment

  3. conscious/unconscious trigger

  4. anticipated/unexpected trigger

outcome

  • encouraging/discouraging (author’s definition: short-term effect)
  • productive/counterproductive (author’s definition: long-term effect)

anticipation, avoidance, and adjustment

external environment

  • active questions

    • passive:
      • Do you have a goal?
      • How happy were you today?
      • How meaningful was your day?
      • How positive were your relationships with people?
      • How engaged were you?
    • active:
      • Did you do your best to set clear goals for yourself?
      • Did you do your best to be happy?
      • Did you do your best to find meaning?
      • Did you do your best to build positive relationships with people?
      • Did you do your best to be fully engaged?
作者的观点的逻辑: 你们工作不热情,不是公司的错, 是你们自己有问题.

Author’s study: people answer 10 questions every day for 10 working days.

  • 3 groups

    1. controls: no training, no questions
    2. training + passive questions

    3. training + positive questions

      Author made conclusion that questions were useful.

      Ridiculous

    4. It can be training working, not questions.

    5. control groups should be

      1. no training + positive questions
      2. no training + negative questions

    6. Length is too short: 10 days

      The goal of the book is long-term behavior training, not short-term. The author should conduct long-term data collection!!!

6 engaging questions

  1. Did you do your best to set clear goals today?
  2. Did you do your best to make progress toward my goals today?
  3. Did you do your best to find meaning today?
  4. Did you do your best to be happy today?
  5. Did you do your best to build positive relationship today?
  6. Did you do your best to be fully engage today?
My understanding: the questions should focus on progress, not on the goal

  • self-discipline: achieve desired behavior
  • self-control: avoid undesirable behavior
Willpower book: I want, I don’t want

“The takeaway: If your motivation for a task or goal is in any way compromised—because you lack the skill, or don’t take the task seriously, or think what you’ve done so far is good enough—don’t take it on. Find something else to show the world how much you care, not how little.”

Excerpt From: Marshall Goldsmith. “Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts–Becoming the Person You Want to Be.” iBooks.