Did you do your best to XXXX?
|Title: Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts–Becoming the Person You Want to Be|
Authors: Marshall Goldsmith, Mark Reiter
Finished Date: 2018-02-26
Publishers: Crown Business
Publication Date: 2015-05-19
Format: Pdf, ePub
文中只给出了成功的例子,没有讲若fall off wagon了, 怎么才能重新开始.
the reason to focus on progress
- If we do it (progress focused), we get better (result)
- We get better faster.
- Eventually we become our own Coach我解释为:身随心动
Truth #1: Meaning behavioral change is very hard to do
- hard to initiate behavioral change
- even harder to stay the course
- hardest to make the change stick
Given the choice, we prefer to do nothing
know how to execute a change, require
- knowledge, e.g., nutrition
- ability difficulty level beyond my current ability => create stress
- motivation depression
Truth #2: No one make us change unless we truly want to change
the reason to fail
If I understand, I will do => confusion知乎帖子: 为什么道理都懂, 执行力为什么差 myself: Read more books and I will know how to do things less painfully
I have willpower and won’t give in to temptation. => overconfidence
- Today is a special day not to do things. => inconsistency
- At least I’m better than… => immunity
I shouldn’t need help and structure => exceptionalism
We believe that we do not need structure to help us on seemingly simple tasks.
- Contempt for simplicity. Only complexity is worthy of our attention
- Contempt for instruction and follow-up
- faith. We can succeed all by ourselves.
I won’t get tired and my enthusiasm will not fade. => depletion
happen in the planning phase
Self-control is a limited resource when we are tired.
I have all the time in the world. => procrastination
two opposing beliefs that we simultaneously hold in our minds
- we chronically underestimate the time it takes to get anything done
- we believe that time is open-ended and sufficiently spacious for us to get to all our self-improvement goals eventually.
I won’t get distracted and nothing unexpected will occur.
not plan for distractions.
An epiphany will suddenly change my life => magical thinking
An epiphany implies that change can arise out of a sudden burst of insight and willpower.Films, novels, others’ stories always said they changed behaviors suddenly…. I think our whole world conveys this wrong idea.
My change will be permanent and I will never have to worry again. => a false sense of permanenceThe self-control I practiced until unconsciousness n the middle lost.
the whole world
- TV commercial
Even when we get there, we cannot stay there without commitment and discipline.
My elimination of old problems will not bring on new problems. => misunderstanding of future challenges
My efforts will be fairly rewarded. If not properly reward we feel cheated => resentment
cannot change if
- pursue external reward e.g., money, a promotion
- no certainties that we will get the external reward we want
No one is paying attention to bad behavior occasionally. => isolation
If I change I am “inauthentic.” => stubbornness
I have the wisdom to assess my own behavior. => impaired sense of objectivityIt is also hard to find a reliable and affordable coach.
A behavioral trigger is any stimulus that impacts our behavior. One trigger has different effect for different people.
- direct/indirect trigger
- internal: thoughts/feeling
- external: environment
- encouraging/discouraging (author’s definition: short-term effect)
- productive/counterproductive (author’s definition: long-term effect)
anticipation, avoidance, and adjustment
- Do you have a goal?
- How happy were you today?
- How meaningful was your day?
- How positive were your relationships with people?
- How engaged were you?
- Did you do your best to set clear goals for yourself?
- Did you do your best to be happy?
- Did you do your best to find meaning?
- Did you do your best to build positive relationships with people?
- Did you do your best to be fully engaged?
Author’s study: people answer 10 questions every day for 10 working days.
- controls: no training, no questions
- training + passive questions
training + positive questions
Author made conclusion that questions were useful.
It can be training working, not questions.
control groups should be
- no training + positive questions
- no training + negative questions
Length is too short: 10 days
The goal of the book is long-term behavior training, not short-term. The author should conduct long-term data collection!!!
6 engaging questions
- Did you do your best to set clear goals today?
- Did you do your best to make progress toward my goals today?
- Did you do your best to find meaning today?
- Did you do your best to be happy today?
- Did you do your best to build positive relationship today?
- Did you do your best to be fully engage today?
- self-discipline: achieve desired behavior
- self-control: avoid undesirable behavior
“The takeaway: If your motivation for a task or goal is in any way compromised—because you lack the skill, or don’t take the task seriously, or think what you’ve done so far is good enough—don’t take it on. Find something else to show the world how much you care, not how little.”
Excerpt From: Marshall Goldsmith. “Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts–Becoming the Person You Want to Be.” iBooks.